Revenant
by Allronix
Summary: SW: Knights of the Old Republic game - In the light of a shocking revelation, the fate of a galaxy can be changed, as can the perceptions of those who may change it.
1. Default Chapter

Revenant

SW: KotOR (Game)

By Allronix

WARNING: This will spoil LARGE parts of the game, please do not read if you do not with to have the major plot points given away. Furthermore, this references only one path the player may take to the ending. (Female, Scoundrel, Light Side character)

Standard Disclaimer: Universe and characters are property of George Lucas and Lucas Arts Game Company. The work below is one of fanfiction, written by Allronix. No profit or insult is intended by this piece.

Summary: In light of a shocking revelation, the fate of a galaxy is forever changed, and so are the perceptions of those who may change it.

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CARTH ONASI:

Hard to believe...So damn hard to believe!

Sure, we heard the stories. Revan the Jedi, whose tactics were frighteningly clever, if a bit on the cold-blooded side. When it comes to war, though, every bet's off. Officers can talk what they want about honor and rules of war, but when you're out there, there are no damn rules. Take it from the guy who's been on the front lines since before he even needed to shave.

I've got a few medals from the Mandalorian War. Those guys were brutal, fighting like they were crazy, but with a swiftness and surety that announced they weren't. Back then, the names Revan and Malak were used as a battle cry for the Republic - the names of the guys who would go head to head with the Mandalorians, making those pirates quake in their boots. Malak was the right hand man, and Revan was leading the charge with everything the Force could summon.

But that battle in the Outer Rim - Great Stars! I didn't get to see it from where I was stationed, but I heard all about it...knew a lot of guys that didn't come back from it, either. Mandalor himself was killed, his followers scattered to a handful, fighting until almost the last man. 

It didn't take long for the name of the Revan to turn into a curse. Folks thought the Sith ideas were destroyed with Exar Kun and the rest of them. There were a lot of arcane issues involved in that war that the Jedi will bend your ear about, philosophies and theories about the Dark Side...Well, they can keep those. They don't mean a lot to me, really. All we knew was that Revan and Malak were back, and they sure weren't heroes. Something happened to twist and corrupt them, turn them into something that made us nostalgic for the Mandalorian raids. Planets were turned to ash, fleets were decimated or turned from the Republic to follow them, and their resources seemed limitless.

Once again, we heard stories of Revan, said to be a powerful man larger than life, a legendary warrior who could kill with a thought and who had the charisma to inspire and terrify the vast Sith armies.

All so damn hard to believe, then...How could it be true? How in the vastness of the universe, the way of the Force, could this be true?

Saul, once my commander, now my slain foe. As he dies, he laughs at me.

"She is Revan," he says with his dying breath, flicking a finger to gesture to the woman behind me. "And you never knew..."

It feels like I've been shot, even if the pain's all in my mind. My brain races. It can't be true! There's....there's no damn way! Looking over my shoulder, I look her in the eye, the woman I knew as Seeira Jast, and I relive the past couple months in the space of a breath.

Bastila brought her aboard the _Endar Spire_, and I remember shrugging it off. The lady did have an entourage - a handful of Jedi, a couple Republic guards. Seeira stood out. She was a civilian, with a cover story that she used to be a smuggler the Republic recruited to help them navigate Sith blockades. She just didn't seem to fit, somehow, but Jedi are a breed unto themselves, so I paid it no attention. I just remember seeing her right at Bastila's side, and never away from her sight.

When all hell broke loose, we were the last to get away from the _Spire_. When we crashed on Taris, I was all right, but she was badly injured. I remember picking her up and carrying her into the abandoned apartment. She seemed so fragile that I'd thought I'd break her. Seeira's a small woman, barely comes up to my shoulder, and she's got the bone structure of a bird. 

This is so different than the stories I've heard. Wasn't Revan supposed to be a giant of a man, tall and strong? The most frightening warrior the Republic's seen to date? How can it be true?

But I know Saul too well. That son of a rancor doesn't bother to lie when he can kill with truth. I've seen Seeira fight. Little damn wonder she was able to learn it all so quickly…she was just remembering how. She's guarded my back and bailed me out everywhere from the _Spire_ to the undercity of Taris, and all the way up there to the bridge of the Leviathan. She's been at my back and I've been at hers. I've seen her take a shot that would have killed me. I always admired how someone her size could be so impressive in a brawl. She's even made that Mandalorian merc we picked up show respect.

So, I know now...I know how she could have fought them as Revan.

I also saw Reven's legendary charisma. She's got a voice like an angel, and the persuasion of a born con artist. That was why I bought her story about being a smuggler at first. In that line of work, you have to be able to talk your way out of trouble, or talk your way into it. She's not like some commander that shows you the rank pips and demands respect. She never had to. Dark Side of the Force, would you check out the crew that's aboard the _Hawk_? Two burnt-out Jedi, a killer android with some serious screws loose, a Mandilorian, a Wookie chieftain, a Twi'lek street girl, Bastila, and me. Most anyone else trying to lead that, and we'd be killing each other before we left space dock.

That charisma certainly got to me, maybe more than anyone else. Maybe that's why I feel so betrayed. If you let yourself be persuaded, you let yourself trust, and you can get yourself tricked. 

Looking in Seeira's eyes, I look for answers, but she can't give me any. Deep down, I know...Deep down, she knows. I'm hoping it's not an act, the look of shock and the cry of betrayal that catches in her throat as she turns from me to Bastila. 

Bastila reluctantly confirms the horrible truth. "You're mind was gone, but your body still held a spark of life. Through the Force, I was able to keep you alive…to rebuild your mind…"

I barely hear it. This is worse that the torture cells…at least there, Seeira was still Seeira.

When we were hiding out on Taris, I kept a vigil as Revan...Seeira...rode out some nasty dreams. Not dreams, I suppose...memories would be more like it. I know what it's like to have the hells of your past greet you when your eyes are closed. What was Seeira remembering...or should I call her Revan? Does she remember destroying all those lives? All the blood she waded in? She said she didn't remember much before the attack on the _Endar Spire_, and I remembered chalking that up to the injuries she took when we crashed. I remember watching her so many times on the _Ebon Hawk_, staring out into the darkness of space, trying to find something...anything. 

Moments like those, I still watched her. Maybe she knew I was there, maybe not. It sticks as the definitive image of her in my mind. She looked so sad, so strong and vulnerable at the same time. 

So achingly beautiful. 

It took all I could summon not to walk into the room and pull her from the chair, press her to me and feel what it would be like to kiss her. In more than a few dreams, I've heard that soft, angelic voice call out my name over and over as I would take her to my bunk and we'd create some new memories to fill the voids.

Damn it! SHE'S responsible for those voids! How could she? How could I?  

I'm still kneeling on the Leviathan's bridge, surrounded by the stink of death and the smell of ozone left behind in the wake of the lightsabres. 

Saul lets out a last shudder and dies. Lucky bastard. Right now, I want to join him. 

  



	2. Bastila Shan

BASTILA SHAN:

I look at them. I suppose I should have called them friends long before this, but I was all too aware of the truth. Now I look into their eyes and see something a Jedi should never see.

Betrayal.

"You USED me, Bastila. You're…you're no better than the Sith." The words cut like a lightsaber, because I know they are true. How close I came to forgetting who…what…the woman who stands next to me was.

Carth is confused and hurt. He's come to care for her…a factor I never expected. I suppose both of us have betrayed him, but Seeira's…Revan's was not intended. I wanted them never to know the truth.

But lies sustain us - Jedi and Sith alike. We tell a gentle lie here, a calculated lie there. All in the name of power for Sith, and all in the name of the Light for Jedi. I used to believe that…Revan, you gave me more truth than I knew.

I remember that battle with the all the clarity the Force has granted. It was terrible, and through my Battle Meditation, I saw such death and pain - things that would drive anyone without the training mad. I saw our ships cripple Revan's flagship. Malak saw his opportunity, and went in for the kill. We were in a tiny assault ship and had no time.

Reven was a legend, spoken of in hushed voices. How strange then to run up to the lifeless body inside the Dark Lord's armor and instantly notice how small it was. Pulling off the mask, I saw a face like my own - a human woman. There was no mind in the empty shell, only enough of the lower functions to keep the body breathing and sustain the heartbeat.

There hadn't been time for much discussion. One of my party thought the merciful thing would be to allow Revan death. Another argued that we could pull the Star Forge information from the husk of her brain and otherwise leave her be - held between life and death.

Defying them both, I chose what I believed to be the Jedi choice. Putting her hand in mine, I willed life into her broken body. I carried that life in my hands, felt it grow within me, and become strong enough to live on its own.

Such things I saw!

The Council did not know what to do. I allowed Revan to live, and made things more difficult. It's one thing to allow a sentient too far gone to save become one with the Force. It's quite another to rebuild a shattered mind, to create a new person from what had been and pray that a dead foe would not return to life instead. 

Computer records were altered, of course. Reven was dead as far as the Republic was concerned, and the Council decided it best to keep this new creature - Seeira Jast - innocent of what she had been. More gentle lies followed, and she never left my side. I've treated her like a child, because that was essentially what she was - a new life that I carried and birthed, and was therefore my responsibility.    

Ah, but children grow and innocence is lost. Separated during the attack on the _Spire_, I had believed that she would return to being Revan once out of my constant watch. I was wrong. 

Revan does live…but as the bond I share with Seeira. The former Dark Lord is now part of both of us.

The Dark Side is almost forbidden to speak of. Jedi try to run from it, or to deny its power, save as a warning to padawans not to let passions get the best of them. The Dark Side is spoken about like a cloak that one may cast off with enough training and practice. 

That is the lie that sustains a Jedi. The truth is that we can no more outrun the Dark Side than we can ourselves, for the darkness is part of the heart of all sentients. We can no more discard it then our own skins. I have seen a Dark Lord show mercy, and the Light Side willingly commit betrayals. I have seen the Light Side run from the Darkness, and I have felt the Dark powers that drove Revan mad.

That lie will be the death of the Jedi one day.

I explain to Carth and Seeria both that there is no time for talk. Malak is on his way, and only the Force knows what terrible things he is capable of doing. Seeira is also in a delicate position right now. 

Malak is aboard right now. He needs the Battle Meditation, and will try to turn me. I have no doubt he'll slaughter Carth, and try to turn Seeira before killing her, too. 

I must act as a Jedi. I must protect. 

My battle will not be with Malak, however. The true battle will be with myself.


	3. Canderous

  
  


CANDEROUS ORTO:

So what?

I was one of Mandalor's generals. I still don't consider it a shame that my people were defeated, and in Mandalore's code, it was an even greater honor to fight alongside a former foe - especially the one who bested you. None of the people here are Mandalorians, so they won't get it. Expected, but still disappointing.  

We got away with our skins. We live to fight another day against the worthiest of opponents. There's not much else to ask for. Yes, Bastila's sacrifice hurts the party, and this new revelation adds new factors to consider. Women don't normally become warriors where I'm from. I'm regarding this Seeria Jast woman with a little more curiosity - and far more respect.

Mandalor took our scattered clans and united us into a proud people. I had once considered him the greatest of warriors, a philosopher of combat, and master of its arts. One of his first teachings is that it is no shame to lose to a worthy opponent, and Revan proved to be the most worthy opponent of all, defeating Mandalor himself in combat. 

Malak has proven a poor imitation. It would be an insult to lose to him. His Sith behave like overgrown crime lords, and devour each other at the same time they devour everything else. The only reason they succeed is not by cunning or because they are good warriors - but through sheer numbers and easy targets - no challenge. Their arrogance prevents them from innovation and stealth, and their practice of apprentice killing mentor to advance is equally beneath a Mandalorian. Why destroy a brother warrior when both can fight a mutual foe? 

When a Mandalorian warrior has retired from battle, his cherished armor and favorite weapon are handed down to a son (or a grandson) and when a Mandalorian son is ready for manhood, he is taken through the trials as his father before him. When he returns (for we train our sons well), his father is waiting with his peers to present him with his armor.  It is rare a youth does not return, and if he fails, it is an equal shame for the father for his lack of ability to train. The Sith turned on us in the end, my people reduced to petty raiders and scattered tribes - an embarrassment I'm glad Mandalor did not live to witness.

When I first saw the woman in Taris's Lower City, I wasn't impressed. Just another upper city idiot checking out the local wildlife or some Sith agent getting too big for themselves. Then, I keep crossing paths with her and Carth - in the Undercity, at the cantinas...started to get me thinking. These two were made of stronger stuff than most of these pushovers. Maybe they were stuff enough to work with me after all. Davik sure wasn't.

So, I let her in on the plan, and certainly wasn't disappointed. Davik kept tight security, nasty droids, and several traps - high odds for a party of three. To infiltrate, raid, and escape alive from a crime boss's estate was a challenge that made me feel like a Mandalorian again! The sheer joy of the battle sang through my blood, and the euphoria of knowing my companions fought like my equals...the Republic citizens apparently aren't capable of understanding. I pity them for it.  

The best of surprises was that our raid of Davik's base was only a taste of what was to come. We're fighting no less than the leader of the Sith against impossible odds! These are the kind of battles that a Mandalorian lad dreams about. The less pleasant surprise is that I find the call of battle less appealing now. Seeira (that's what she wants to be called) has charmed my stories from me, allowing me to relive not only the thrill of my former exploits, but forcing me to remember the cost of them as well. Then, when my past caught up with me...a tragedy doubled and left a taint on what had once been among my proudest moments. 

My journey with her has given me more than I could ever expect, and I find myself looking to the future again, wondering about my own path and that of my people. In the present, however, I fight under her banner, the woman who is now Seeria. She has been a worthy foe. Now she is shield-mate, councilor, and ally.  Mandalor himself would salute her and envy my place.


	4. Mission Vao

MISSION VAO:

Revan? THAT Revan? 

Well, it's a little hard to believe. Then again, this whole thing's been a hard to think about. Before this all started, I was a street rat on Taris. Nothing great, but at least Big Z and I watched out for each other. I really love the big guy. He's been the brother I kinda wish Griff was. I was about to be really stupid and try to rescue Big Z myself when those slavers grabbed him, but that would have been suicide. 

Out from nowhere come Seeira and Carth - offering to help me! They were trying to bail out Bastila from those creepy Vulkars that grabbed her when her escape pod went down. Well, sure, I'd help them rescue their friend in return! Anything for Zaalbar, you know? Well, they were true to their word - and Big Z swears a lifedebt to Seeira on the spot! That's WAY heavy - means Big Z will stick by Seeira, no matter what. And if they've got Big Z's loyalty, they've got mine.

We escaped Taris at the last minute. The Sith destroyed it all...I keep hoping that some of it didn't get destroyed, like the Outcasts. Seeira even brought them the serum to cure the racktghoul disease and Rukil's notes about the Promised Land. I just can't believe it's all gone - Taris was all I knew! 

I found out about why Big Z was on Taris. Finally managed to sweet talk the whole story out of him. His brother was scum! Makes Griff look like a Jedi in comparison. I woulda done a lot worse then claws if I found Griff was into running slaves! Guess it's a Wookiee thing. And get this - Zaalbar is a tribal chief! He's got his honor back and his brother got what was coming to him, thanks to Seeira's help. When this is all over, Seeira's said she'll let him go back home. Big Z's already asked me if I'd go back with him. Well, it's not gonna replace Taris, I suppose, but it is a good place and frankly my home's become wherever Big Z wants to stay.

Well, for all she's done for Zaalbar and me, I'm not really understanding why Carth's got his britches in a knot over this. Hasn't Seeira proven herself to us all? I'm looking and I sure don't see a Dark Lord - far from it! And even if she was, she's not one anymore. Heck, she doesn't even remember most of it. Juhani and Jolee explained what they could to me, and I understood enough of it. Revan was dead. Seeira is someone new - constructed from what had been Revan, but she's NOT Revan - not anymore.

Seeira Jast is my friend, and someone Big Z and I are sticking by until the end.


	5. Juhani

JUHANI:

Forgiveness for forgiveness...understanding for understanding. 

Revan has saved my soul three times - once by freeing me from slavery, another by freeing me from my self-imposed prison, and yet again by aiding me in resisting the Darkness's pull when confronted with my former would-be owner. How strange that a fallen one such as she was the one who drew me back into the light, and how appropriate. Another reminder of the truth and balance present in the living Force.

You look to me for forgiveness, sister Jedi, but I can fault you for nothing. 

I can only imagine how Revan began her descent. Perhaps it was the best of intentions - for they always lead to consequences unforeseen. The Republic turned their backs on the suffering of trillions. We are creatures of justice and tools of the Force. I know too well how injustice can make the blood burn - even for those such as ourselves..._especially_ for those like ourselves. 

I also know the pull and intensity of the Darkness - how it at first fills you with power, only to twist you in body and soul until you hate the entire universe, and yourself most of all. I drowned in it when I struck Quatra in fury, and retreated to the grove where I had hoped that by reveling in my despair that I would somehow become the creature I thought I was. I can only guess that something similar had happened on her quest, but far more slowly - a slow sacrifice of one's faith and self until a bitter shell remains, with the heart and mind in such pain that all one desires is to make the universe itself shriek with the same agony. 

Bastila's greatest folly is that she believes herself beyond it. Malak will use that, and I fear the worst for her.

The battles ahead may indeed be too much for Seeira alone, and Revan's dark hands may yet pull her from us, back into the darkness of what she was. I cannot abandon her now to the sea of evil that surrounds and tempts us with its siren call of sorrow and hopelessness. We will aid each other, Seeria. Together we may be strong enough to see the way. 

But if it is not enough, I will grant her a most terrible mercy - one that may destroy me in the bargain. For now, there is only a dim hope, but it is light regardless.


	6. Jolee Bindo

JOLEE BINDO:

You're going to sit down, shut up, and listen to me, Carth. 

Yes, I knew what Seeria was...not the precise entity, but I did catch a glimpse or two that let me know there was more to the story than she could tell. I kept quiet because it was something she needs to understand and deal with on her own. You think you're shaken? Well, of course you are. I've been in your boots, young man. And that's why you're going to wait in this room while I tell you a story I've told no one in nearly forty years. It's a story you need to hear and I need to tell, so indulge a decrepit old man.

One thing I will - very reluctantly - grant the Sith is that the messier baggage of being a sentient can scare a Jedi out of their mind. It's something the Lightsiders would rather run from than face. That's why they started in with the restrictions like discouraging marriages, taking kids from the cradle, elevating the council to a near-deity status, etcetera. Bastila is their best example of the Jedi they want, and she's so brittle that we probably won't be able to rescue her. Hell, even if we do rescue Bastila from the Dark Side, and stop the Sith this time, they'll be back. They always come back. It's next to blasphemy for me to admit this, but the Force likes balance, I've noticed. Doesn't like one extreme or another.  

I will have to admit that what Malak makes up in cruelty what Exar Kun had in cunning. I don't relish watching the Republic fall...Oh, it'll fall one day, Carth. Everything dies and is reborn eventually. Trust someone who's already got a foot in the grave. I used to think none of it mattered. That's why you saw me in the Shadowlands. I had been just waiting for the forest to claim me...but I'm here because I looked at you and Seeira and saw something I hadn't seen in so long I'd forgotten all about it. Made me think that I could be wrong for once.   

Like you, I married a great woman and lost her. Might have been better to lose her as you lost her, but the Force decided it wanted to be nasty that day. She joined the war with Exar Kun - as a Sith. I couldn't stop her. All that fighting, all that madness, and in the big picture, it didn't seem to make a damn bit of difference. After all, the Sith are still here, right? 

I will say this only once, Carth. What I see in you and Seeira is more courage than I ever had. The two of you walked into darkness willingly and together to try and fight it. You both got yourselves beat down and destroyed by the Sith. But unlike me, who took his saber and walked into the woods with aspirations of oblivion, I've seen you do the bravest thing someone can do  - start over and keep going. 

Not everyone has the guts it takes to learn to laugh again, learn to trust your friends and face your enemies. Appreciate what you have and remember you're still alive. More importantly is that I know damn well what you are to each other, and it's the most beautiful, rare, and terrifying thing in the universe. It won't amount to bantha pats if you turn away from it now. She needs you now - more than she's ever needed you. 

You need her, too. 

Don't do what I did.

Now, lecture's over. Get the hell out of this room, and you think about what I said.


	7. Hk47

HK-47

Exclamation: My master has returned! I am united with her at last!

Statement: Unfortunately, Dark Lady Revan tells me she suffered irreparable damage in her fight with the Jedi, and underwent a memory wipe and designation change. Hence, her new programming as a quote "light sider." She demonstrates a sad tendency towards mercy and an aversion to destruction. Indeed, the memory wipe and reprogramming by the Jedi council was profound and most horrifying.

Opinion: I had not believed a meatbag could endure such an indignity. Seeira Jast (former designation Revan) seems amused when I tell her what was done to her and that she should exact a toll on those who would do such a thing. I have made several suggestions as to methods and means to do so, but it only serves to make her laugh.

Query: How is it that she is not furious? It was only a restraining bolt that prevented me from snapping the neck of the incompetent owner of the Tattooine droid shop. I see no restraining bolt on my master. What controls her?

Statement: She responds with further amusement, and explains she actually _prefers_ these new instructions to her old ones. She calls her old programming uncomfortable and self-destructive, and seems glad to have had the reprogramming. Strangely enough, she is willing to leave most of my programming alone for the time being, even though she leaves many of my more destructive functions inactive.

Admission: I...appreciate the respect, though I fail to understand it. Seeira Jast is completely opposite of Revan aside from this. Not every droid is as lucky as I am. I still get to have the pleasure of destroying any meatbag who wishes her harm, after all. 

Conclusion: Revan or Seeira, she is still my master, despite the changes in programming. I will treat her accordingly.


	8. Zaalbar

ZAALBAR:

It is quiet on the ship in ways I have not known before. On my home world, there is the soft fall of rain or the faint cries of beasts. The Lower City knew no peace - the hum of machines and people a constant, even as Mission and I took turns sleeping in a makeshift next of blankets in a cave of permacrete. 

When I was called a madclaw, I had been so alone. My brother's Czerka "allies" grabbed me and sent me to Taris to be an exotic "pet" for some collector. I should regret killing my captors in a fit of rage, but I don't.

Escaping into the warrens of the Lower City, I lived in the sewers like a beast. I believed that I was a beast - a shame to my people and reduced to hiding away, grubbing my food from the trash and attacking anyone who came near.

I do not recall how long I lived as a beast. I do not care to.

Six men in Vulkar colors tried to grab me, thinking that hunting the "beast" in the sewers would be a good amusement. I had tried to fight them off, but not kill them. I didn't want trouble with their gang, I wanted to be left alone. That day, I heard the words that changed my life forever.

"Back off, you creeps!"

She was a small Twi'lek girl, no more than twelve summers. Heedless of her own safety, she ran up to them to try and protect me, even thought I didn't need it. One of the Vulkars hit her, sending her to the ground, dazed. I did not act to protect myself, then. I acted to protect the brave little girl who thought I needed help. I scared them off, and thought she would run off as well. She didn't. Instead, she thanked me for helping, and tried to speak to me. She left me so stunned, I could not reply. She was not talking to me as though I was a beast, and she was not frightened. She also would not leave me alone, insisting that I could use her help.

She learned to understand my language and I learned the ways of Taris. Mission has the soul of a Wookiee cub in her tiny Twi'lek body. Despite her teasing and trickery, she has courage and honor as true and strong as a wroshyr tree's branches. I care for her like I would a member of my own clan. Twi'leks are also vulnerable to slavers, I know, especially pretty young girls. This is why I shouted for her to run far and fast when those slavers ambushed us. I was a madclaw and a beast, but Mission was not.

I was resigned to my fate as a slave when I heard a great noise outside. The creaky door to my prison opened and Mission flew to my side, throwing her arms around my waist. She talked so fast, I could barely understand her. 

"This is Seeira, Big Z. She fought off those slavers and led me right to you."

That was when I saw them for the first time. The human man, Carth, had the look of a warrior.  The human woman, Seeira, was smaller than Mission. She walked up to me and handed me back my bowcaster. When I thanked her, I had expected Mission to translate as she usually needed to.

"When your friend told me of your situation, it was the least I could do."

She understood me! Mission and the human man were amazed. If she knew my words, then she also would have to know the only thing I could do in return - swear my life to hers. In her own way, Mission did the same to the human woman. We have followed her since.

Not only did she save me from the slavers on Taris, but she has become a hero to my people as well. We returned to my home, my village, and confronted my corrupted brother. She braved the Shadowlands and returned with my father and the Sword of Bacca. She and the rest of our party fought hard to drive the slavers from Kashyyk, lightsabers and blasters besides our blades and bowcasters. Indeed, Mission is not the only Wookiee warrior spirit to be misplaced into a near-hairless body! 

It does not matter whether the name is Seeira or Revan. Aside from honor my debt, I can do so little for the human that does so much. When she told the crew of her past, there was no question of loyalty - nothing pays a life-debt save death, and she had given me no questions as to her honor.   I have seen the spirit that glows in her like metal in the forge - tempered, true, and strong. May I live to bring her epic tale back to my people, and may she be honored for all time in song and story.


	9. Seeria JastRevan end

  


SEEIRA JAST:

There is no emotion: There is peace... 

_Peace is a lie: there is only passion..._

Savior, conqueror, villain and hero...I have been all of them and more.

In the end, it wasn't so much destiny as doing what had to be done. The battle with Malak paled with the battle I had fought with myself since my resurrection, fought over a half-dozen worlds and in many small ways. The Jedi histories will say that it was the council that turned me, their ways and their magic that pulled me back.

But that will be history - not the truth.

They had been at my shoulder, mostly unknowing, and (in the end) uncaring of the monster I'd been. To ask them, they would say that I have kept them walking in the Light, or forced them to rethink their ways. The truth is that they saved me - all of them. 

Mission's courage, innocence, and honesty prevented me from making a few mistakes. She was the first among the crew to stand with me when the terrible truth was known. I know that if I had chosen the Darkness that she would not stay. She'd be determined to break free of me, if only for the sake of Zaalbar's life-debt. She would force me to kill her, depriving the universe of her wit and joy. To lose her would turn Zaalbar to Darkness himself, mad with grief over the loss of his constant companion. He would again lose his honor, and eventually his life. In them, I see the power of friendship and honor.

Juhani's loyalty is also powerful, it's almost terrifying. She looks at me and sees a hero and a sister-in-spirit. The redemption she credits me with was all along her doing. All I did was remind her of where she truly wished to be, offering her a clear voice when her Cathar blood started to burn. As I reminded her, I reminded myself. To see her confidence and strength, to slowly strip away the hurts of her past to see her beautiful soul...I would never want to see betrayal in her eyes.

There is more truth in Jolee's words than he knew at first. The way of the Jedi can be horribly blind and cowardly at times, and the Darkness can only be beat back, never entirely stopped...yet that does not mean he turns his back on the Light or the Force. He says he doesn't care, but if he didn't, would he have run up to the temple with Juhani, insisting that I not face my destiny alone? Bastila would have been able to tempt me if they hadn't been there. I'm not immune to Revan's pull, only strong enough to resist it. Without knowing they were at my back, reminding me of what they expected from me, and what I expected from myself...things would have been very different.

Canderous sees me as the greatest of warriors, but even he is beginning to have second thoughts about his path. Like Juhani, all I did was stand at his side and listen. Perhaps that was all he needed - to voice things he could not say to a Mandalorian, but that only another warrior could understand. He will find his own way, and stay true to himself. I will be there when he needs someone to listen and add my saber to his blaster when we are in danger. In the meanwhile, HK-47, in his own insane fashion, reminds me of the kind of person I was. He seems disappointed in my change, but still thinks of me as his master, which is good enough for him. He can go on for great length, cheerfully describing the things I did as Revan in such detail they almost frighten me. He would be offended if I told him how good he is at making me disgusted with my former self and how glad I am that I use a different name these days.

 Bastila brought me to life and gave me this second chance, opening my eyes and re-teaching me the ways of Jedi. In her, though, I also saw the weaknesses, the traps...she needed my aid as much as I needed hers. Revan lived in both of us, through the shared memories and the bond that was formed when she brought to life that which I am now. In the end, Revan's hand showed us our paths - light to dark and back once more. There is no debt between us now, and Revan has fallen silent. The bond remains.

And before I had known any of them, Carth. His soul was equally troubled, and just as perilously close to falling into Darkness. Loss, pain, revenge...that was all he believed he had left. From the escape pods of the Spire to the heart of the Star Forge, he's always been a step behind, and I've watched his distrust turn to acceptance. I've seen the acceptance turn to trust and warmth, and that warmth flower into the romantic love celebrated beneath the stars of an unknown planet. To betray that trust would be to shatter his soul completely, and I would sooner let Malak strike us both down than allow it.

If I were Dark side, I would not care about their trust. They would be my foes, rivals, or tools - not my supports and anchors. That alone leaves me cold. How could have I thought it appealing - the whole galaxy at my feet, but no one at my side? 

It was not the Jedi teachings, mantras, and codes that saved me. It was not the Council, the training, or my skills. Jolee was right. In the end, my redemption was an act and result of love - in its many shades and forms. 

I place the saber on my belt, and turn away from it all. The Star Forge will soon be no more, and the Sith will be both leaderless and crippled. Revan truly is no more.

The Ebon Hawk is waiting.

_There is no Death: There is the Force_

_The Force shall set me free..._

30

Finis 


End file.
